Forgive me but I’m gonna start off this review on a bit of a rant.  What the fuck is wrong with horror fans?  All most of them do is bitch and moan about all the remakes and re-imagings of beloved classics pouring outta Hollywood.  They often yell, “I know there’s gotta be some original, kick ass material out there.”  So what happens when a hugely original and kick ass film like THE CABIN IN THE WOODS gets released?  Nothing.  Horror fans are nowhere to be found.  What the fuck, people??  This film, simply put, is one of the best horror releases I’ve seen in the theaters in a long time.  A long time.  I just can’t understand why horror fans didn’t flock out to support this film and send the message to Hollywood that “Horror Fans Support Original Horror”!!

Okay; my rant is over.  For those of you who actually did support this film (see my review here) and loved it, I’ve got a treat for you!!  Titan Books has put out two supplemental books to support the film:  THE CABIN IN THE WOODS novelization, and THE CABIN IN THE WOODS: THE OFFICIAL VISUAL COMPANION.  If you loved the film then you’ll love the novelization.  In the novel, written by Tim Lebbon, we get more details on some of the characters and more details on some of the motivations behind why people did what they did.  It’s a really fun read and knowing what the film is all about, the novel actually helps fill in some of the details.

THE OFFICIAL VISUAL COMPANION is a collector’s wet dream.  It’s full of fun facts, interviews with the cast, a forward by director Drew Goddard, an afterwards by Joss Whedon, the full screenplay (which I loved reading), and tons of pictures … TONS of pics.  My favorite chapter, after the complete screenplay, was the twenty page chapter on all the various creatures used in the film and how they were developed.  There are a ton of stunning photos of the werewolf, the aftermath of the zombie carnage, the “Ballerina,” info and descriptions on many of the background creatures, and a two-page spread on everyone’s favorite, The Merman!!

This is a hugely fun and informative read about the process of bringing THE CABIN IN THE WOODS to the big screen, and it’s also a great look into the minds of one of the genre’s most influential and original filmmakers, Joss Whedon.  As Whedon himself says at the end of the VISUAL COMPANION:

“Here’s to the end of the world.”

Here, here!!  Any fan of THE CABIN IN THE WOODS won’t wanna miss either the novelization of the film or THE OFFICIAL VISUAL COMPANION.  Check these out!!

My Summary:

Novel:  5 out of 5 stars

Visual Companion:  5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

Think THE EXORCIST is scary?  I’ve got something more terrifying.  Think MARTYRS is disturbing?  I’ve got something that’ll keep you awake at night for hours on end.  Is it a new, cutting-edge horror film?  Nope.  A new horror novel from an up-and-coming writer?  Not even close.  It’s a state of limbo/purgatory that makes the lines at the DMV seem to move lightening fast.  It’s called “Development Hell” and it’s enough to make even the most hardened Hollywood insider break down in tears.  Written by David Hughes, TALES FROM DEVELOPMENT HELL: THE GREATEST MOVIES NEVER MADE?, exposes the absurd inner-workings of how films are really made and why some top-shelf, eagerly anticipated films disappear and fade away into Sartre’s state of Nothingness.

As Hughes mentions in his introduction, “The stories behind many unmade movies [are] more interesting than the movies themselves.”  The average movie-goer assumes that the film they see in the theater has a natural life-cycle.  A writer sits down and either writes an original screenplay or adapts a popular novel; the script is then submitted to a studio where, if the powers that be like it, they buy it (presumably for an assload of money); it then gets a director and some A-list actors and gets the green light and is made.  The result is an enjoyable film and everyone involved gets rich.  Yeah; not so much.  The majority of films, it turns out, get stuck in what is called “Development Hell.”  There is no one level of Development Hell, but, as we learn in Hughes’ book, many differing degrees and levels (not unlike the various Circles of Hell Dante writes about).  Given the above ‘perfect scenario’ a dose of reality, the procedure may go something more like this (taken, in part, from Hughes’ book):

1. A script is turned in.

2. The studio hands it over to a ‘professional script reader’ who will add a ton of ‘notes’ to the script (notes are the first level of hell), “…and the notes always conflict.”

3. The script is re-written using the notes, but now the studio head, to justify their bloated salary, needs to put his/her stamp on the screenplay and adds more notes.

4. The script is re-written once again using all the conflicting notes from everyone who read and/or skimmed through the original script.

5. Steps 1 through 4 are repeated over and over again.  And then over and over again.  Continuously.  Like a zombie that keeps coming at you because the idiot shooting at it refuses to shoot it in the head.

6. Once the script gets approved it gets sent out to various directors and actors who will then add in their own notes and demand a re-write before attaching their name to the film.

And so on, and so on, and so on.  This process would make Sisyphus himself crack like a little bitch!!  But Hughes writes a hugely entertaining book that gives us many examples of films, some never made and some eventually made, that have all experienced some degree of Development Hell.  In TALES FROM DEVELOPMENT HELL we get a behind-the-scenes look at what happened to the film version of Neil Gaiman’s THE SANDMAN; why Burton’s PLANET OF THE APES was a friggin’ disaster; the long, long road TOTAL RECALL took to get to the screen (the original one), and why the “alien on a train” film ISOBAR never made it outta the station, despite Ridley Scott, Joel Silver, and Sylvester Stallone’s involvement/attachment to it.

But perhaps the most interesting chapter was the final chapter, “Tales from the Script,” where Hughes details his own journey’s in Development Hell.  Hearing about films we’ve seen is pretty fun, but the true horrors of Development Hell really hit home when you hear it from someone who’s had and has many projects stuck in what is the equivalent of the far right panel of a Bosch painting.  I can’t say I “feel your pain,” David, but I certainly can feel your frustration at the whole thing.

This leads to a question that faces us in Hughes’ book, but one which is never addressed:  Is this the best way to make films?  Hughes, at length, reminds us that making films in Hollywood isn’t about art.  It’s a business and the studios that back the films wanna make money on their investments.  A lot of money.  This is why many talented filmmakers stay in the indie horror scene; they’re their own bosses who have no one giving them ridiculous notes on their scripts.  Freedom baby!!  Making films is a simple case of the Golden Rule:  “He who has the gold makes the rules.”  It is what it is and if ya wanna be a Hollywood Insider, then this is the game you need to play.  To all you struggling writers with the ‘next best script’ in mind … stick to your guns and learn the game.  Hughes’ TALES FROM DEVELOPMENT HELL is a great place to start learning the ‘rules.’

For the rest of us, TALES FROM DEVELOPMENT HELL, is a fascinating and fun read that gives us a seldom seen “insiders look” into the industry, and in the end you’ll be amazed that any film actually gets made in Hollywood!!  Check this one out.

My Summary:

Author:  David Hughes

Plot:  4 out of 5 5 stars

Gore:  0 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  100 out of 5 brains (those poor writers!!)

Cameron Pierce is back (well to be fair he never really went away).  In the past he’s given us sharks swimming in Eden, Ass Goblins (my review), a world made up of marionette puppets (my review), a football-playing werewolf, and the touching story about a pickle falling in love with a pancake (my review).  In his latest work of Bizarro Fiction, Pierce takes us to the GARGOYLE GIRLS OF SPIDER ISLAND; another great, eye-catching title that accurately sets up what’s going on in the story.

As GARGOYLE GIRLS OF SPIDER ISLAND begins, we meet a group of twenty-something college kids out for a fun-in-the-sun vacation in some exotic location.  Oscar steals his rich stepfather’s ship, and the journey begins.  Oscar’s friends are Allen, Jane, and Colette.  They manage to get a little off course and find themselves in the wrong part of the ocean.  Even the coast guard stays away from this area.  It doesn’t take long for the gang to catch the attention of a father-son team of pirates.  Shit goes bad real quick and the twenty-something’s find themselves in a quickly sinking ship with no other option than to board the pirate ship and look for land.  They overpower the father, Che, (I won’t tell you what happens to the son pirate) and manage to make it to what looks like an empty island.  They find the pirate’s booty on the ship (cases of rum, cigarettes, and frozen fish fillets in the icebox) and decide to go have a party on the beach.  During the party we get the finer details of all the interactions between the college kids:  Oscar has had the hots for Colette for years, Allen is an alienating drunk, Jane is kind of a pain in the ass, etc… .

After a lot of partying and a LOT of rum drinking, Oscar realizes they aren’t alone on the island.  There’s what appears to be male slaves and their masters, the Gargoyle Girls.  At first Oscar thinks he was just having a drunken, rum-induced hallucination, but they soon find out that the threats of the island are all too real.

If you’re familiar with Cameron Pierce’s books you’ll notice something odd about the above description.  Go on; I’ll let you think about it for a minute … Right!!  It doesn’t sound all that bizarre, does it?  In GARGOYLE GIRLS OF SPIDER ISLAND, Pierce doesn’t create an entire bizarro world.  Here the world is the same one we all live in; it’s just the college kids’ situation and antics that become bizarro.  For those of you not familiar with literary genre of Bizarro Fiction, let me quote from my review of Pierce’s ASS GOBLINS OF AUSCHWITZ:

Bizarro fiction is a contemporary literary genre (it can be traced it back to 1999 with the origin of Eraserhead Press) in which stories have a strong focus on weirdness.  But this isn’t “weird for weirdness sake”; this genre creates entire “weird” worlds … this type of fiction [is] “literature’s equivalent to the cult section at the video store,” and … strives “not only to be strange, but fascinating, thought-provoking, and, above all, fun to read.”  I would go a step further and say that bizarro fiction is the grindhouse films of the horror genre.  Just like grindhouse movies offered something you couldn’t find from mainstream Hollywood (mainly hardcore exploitation), bizarro fiction does the same thing; offers something you can’t find in the mainstream literary world.

Pierce may have toned down the bizarro elements in this book, but he by no means eliminates them.  Everything from their encounter with the pirates to crashing on the island, to meeting the natives, and ultimately being enslaved by the Gargoyle Girls is extremely bizarre.  The Gargoyle Girls themselves sometimes appear as beautiful native girls and other times as hideous, multi-tentacled things with vaginas all over their bodies.  And don’t even get me started on the little vagina-baby creature!!  As in all of Pierce’s novels and short stories, his writing style just grabs you from the first sentence and draws you into the story like some kind of Siren call.  I couldn’t put GARGOYLE GIRLS OF SPIDER ISLAND down and read it in one sitting.  Pierce’s characters here are very well fleshed out and have a depth to them that one doesn’t always find in bizarro fiction.  Oscar develops over the course of the story and goes from being a spoiled brat to a man taking on a lot of responsibility.  And just wait until you find out how Colette saves the day with her menstrual flow (yikes)!!  The pace is extremely quick and just when you think Pierce might be getting away from bizarro fiction … BAM; he drops the bizarro hammer on your head.

GARGOYLE GIRLS OF SPIDER ISLAND is a fantastic read and if you’re getting tired of all the mainstream zombie, vampire, and ghost novels that line the walls of your local bookstore, then do yourself a favor and check out the world of Bizarro Fiction (click here to check out Erasurehead Press).  GARGOYLE GIRLS OF SPIDER ISLAND is a great place to start.

My Summary:

Author:  Cameron Pierce

Plot:  4 out of 5 stars

Gore:  5 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

Eric S. Brown is back with his hugely popular and successful BIGFOOT WAR series.  In the first book of the series, BIGFOOT WAR (my review here), the Bigfoot clan exposed themselves and waged a merciless war against humanity.  Brown’s creatures are intelligent, extremely strong, extremely violent, and have such a dense muscle mass that most bullets just harmlessly bounce off them.  Not too many people in the first novel made it to the final pages.  The BIGFOOT WAR 2: DEAD IN THE WOODS (my review here), Brown takes those same creatures waging the same violent war against humanity but amps up the energy-level and intensity.  How, you may ask?  By adding in the zombie apocalypse!!  The creatures have some sort of virus in their blood and saliva and naturally occurring under their fingernails that any human they bite, scratch, or maul ends up part of the undead.  He took something awesome (book 1) and made it absolutely, freaking awesome.  It’s like going to a strip club and finding out that all the girls are sexy, free of disease and nymphomaniacs … and then finding out the bouncers are all midgets!!  Something great just became awesome.

So we know what Eric S. Brown is capable of.  Now the question remains.  Can Brown make lightning strike three times with BIGFOOT WAR 3: FOOD CHAIN?

Part three takes place fifteen years after the end of part two.  The war is still raging on, but it seems as though the Bigfoot clans have gotten the best of humanity.  There are pockets of human survivors scattered across America, but their numbers seem to dwindle by the week.  Add to this the fact that the zombie outbreak whittled down humanity’s numbers even more and it’s not looking good for human beings.  But humanity is more resilient than you think.  In secret, underground bunkers, a large group of survivors have been hard at work with the technology they still have available to them to create a defense against the creatures.  But time’s running out because the Bigfoot clans are planning on staging one final battle to wipe humans off the face of the earth.

We follow around a few main characters throughout the book.  There’s Wally, a Hunter who’s looking for his lost love; Bree, who just might be humanity’s greatest hope for survival; Greg and Anna, a married couple who’s been surviving on their own in the wilderness; and General Thane, the psychotic leader of a group of survivors.  But if you’re at all familiar with Eric S. Brown’s novels, you know that just because someone is a ‘main character’ doesn’t mean shit.  No one in a Brown novel is safe, and anyone could die at any time.

Like in his other novels in the BIGFOOT WAR series, Brown writes some really fun characters who all have a level of depth to them and who we get close to before Brown has them brutally butchered (don’t worry; no spoilers here).  Wally, perhaps, is the most interesting of the characters.  Wally is a Hunter.  A Hunter is a specially trained and uniquely skilled warrior who lives for two purposes:  To kill as many Bigfoot creatures as possible and to protect humanity.  Wally has killed many creatures with nothing more than a katana blade and his lightning-fast reflexes.  The only code a Hunter lives by is that they never abandon the group of survivors they’re supposed to be protecting.  Wally is that last of the Hunters and has fought in many battles against the creatures.  With the looming end of humanity right around the corner, Wally decides to leave his post and go look for the love of his life, Bree.  This pisses off General Thane, who is as violent and psychotic as the creatures, and he sets up a search party to go find Wally and kill him.

If you notice there’s a lack of zombies in the above description, well then you’re paying attention.  Brown seems to abandon the zombie element in part three.  He has a few characters mention some large past battles with the living dead, but the zombie threat at this current time is non-existent.  It seems either the zombies have all been killed off or have wasted away.  It also sounds as though we missed a lot of really great battles and encounters with both the creatures and the undead over the last fifteen years.  Some huge Bigfoot vs the Living Dead vs Humanity battles were fought, but we really don’t get any details.  Plus it would’ve been great to see groups of the Hunters in action.  Reading BIGFOOT WAR 3: FOOD CHAIN, reminded me of STAR WARS IV: A NEW HOPE.  We get to hear about the Jedi and what mighty warriors they were, but we never get to see them in action, en mass.  I’m hoping that in the next BIGFOOT WAR novel, Brown takes us back to some of these battles and fills in the gaps of what went down over the last fifteen years.

My only other complaint here is that BIGFOOT WAR 3: FOOD CHAIN felt a little rushed.  The paperback version isn’t even 100 pages.  Granted that there’s more violence and death in these 94 pages than in most war movies, but Brown’s regular style felt a little rushed here.  There were a lot of convenient plot points that pushed the story along pretty quickly.  But don’t get me wrong; BIGFOOT WAR 3: FOOD CHAIN is a hugely entertaining novel and Brown continues to amaze me at how much violence he can pack into one novel!!

I’m definitely recommending BIGFOOT WAR 3: FOOD CHAIN; it’s a fun, fast-paced read that could’ve only been better with more zombie violence and more details about the fifteen year gap from BIGFOOT WAR 2.  And if you’re wondering, yes … Brown does add in another ingredient into the mix here.  In Book one we had Bigfoot creatures.  In Book two we had the creatures and zombies.  In Book three we get creatures and … robots (don’t worry; I didn’t spoil anything for ya.  You find out about the robots in the prologue).  So I’m guessing we’re gonna get an alien invasion in Book four?  Or maybe even werewolves!?!!  I’m good with either one.  Definitely check this one out; it’s a really fun read.

My Summary:

Author:  Eric S. Brown

Plot:  3.5 out of 5 stars

Gore:  7.5 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  .5 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

You all know the phrase, “This ain’t my first barbecue.”  Well this ain’t my first Joe McKinney book.  To date this is the sixth book of McKinney’s that I’ve read.  I’ve always thought of McKinney as “that kick ass zombie  author,” but now after reading THE RED EMPIRE AND OTHER STORIES, I think of him simply as, “That kick ass author.  Period.”

THE RED EMPIRE AND OTHER STORIES, published by Redrum Horror, is a collection of seven short stories and one novella (the titular story, “The Red Empire”).  The stories are all horror based, each having their own identity.  For example, “Burning Finger Man” is also a police procedural; “The Old Man Under the Sea” is an alternate-history tale starring Ernest Hemingway; “Cold Case” is a non-fictional account of a police case that’s haunted McKinney for years; and “Eyes Open” is a Lovecraft-inspired tale.  But perhaps the most fun of all the stories is the titular, “The Red Empire,” which is also McKinney’s homage to 1950’s-style creature feature flicks.  “The Red Empire” follows a mom (Amy) and her fourteen year old daughter (Casey) as they arrive home after being away for a long while.  Casey had surgery to correct her keratoconus (something which I relate to all too well; I had the same surgery back in 2003).  They arrive to a hurricane and the resultant flooding in their small Texas town.  But to add to the threat, a dangerous cop-killing convict (Ricky) has escaped from his transport van during the storm, and there’s also a tractor trailer that crashed, releasing its deadly cargo:  Millions of genetically altered red ants that the military was using as a biological weapon.  More like “land-piranha,” these particular red ants were bigger, stronger, and smarter than your average red ant.

McKinney beautifully blends together the human and creature threat to the point where you question which is more dangerous.  The criminal Ricky is a very bad man and will do anything to remain free.  The red ants, on the other hand, were bred to bring out their aggression and intelligence.  We’re dealing with a typical Frankenstein Complex here where the creation got away from its creator.  “The Red Empire” plays out like a flick from the 1950’s, and I couldn’t help but continually think of THEM!, from 1954.  The action here is divided into the threat posed by Ricky and that of the ants, and McKinney builds up the intensity of both story lines until he has us on the edge of our seats and itching like sons–a-bitches!!  My only complaint with this story is that we don’t get complete closure on the fate of the red ants.  I would have liked one or two more paragraphs detailing what happened to them.  This is a small complaint for a really badass story!!

The second story, “Blemish,” is a ghost story, but one you most likely haven’t read before.  It’s realistic and ‘heavy,’ and gets very depressing in many parts.  But it’s also a beautifully written story on grief, personal demons, not letting go of the past, and addiction.  And just when you think you have a handle on this one, McKinney throws a curveball at ya and takes the story in a new direction.  This one was originally written in the later part of 2008 and I was surprised by how mature and “deep” the story is for one of McKinney’s earlier writings.

“Burning Finger Man” is another hard-hitting story that chronicles Ben Cortman, a cop with the San Antonio Housing Authority.  Cortman’s beat is in the projects and he is always surrounded by junkies, whores, dealers, addicts, and pedophiles.  But, as he must also keep reminding himself, there are also honest, hard-working people living in these same projects.  It’s easy to forget that, and Cortman does his best not to.  I really liked this story because Cortman isn’t some Dirty Harry, Martin Riggs-esque cop who “plays by his own rules” and “cleans up the projects one bullet at a time.”  Cortman seems to me to be an everyday cop who goes out there risking his life, trying to uphold the law and help people the best he can within the boundaries of the law.  He’s a real character and McKinney captures him beautifully.  We see the bullshit politics and red tape Cortman must deal with every day.  Now that’s a hero to me.

All the stories are written with that “McKinney style” that we’ve become accustomed too.  They’re fast paced, well written, the action scenes play out in your head like a movie, and there’s a lot of heart in each story.  McKinney has gotten to the point in his writing career where his female characters are just as well-written and realistic as his male characters.  He really nails his female characters (not in that way, you pervs)!!  But best of all, THE RED EMPIRE AND OTHER STORIES proves that McKinney has a lot more to offer the genre than just zombie stories.  McKinney has a head full of solid genre ideas and I certainly hope he keeps writing all of them down.  But, Mr. McKinney, you must also keep writing the zombie stories too!!

My Summary:

Author:  Joe McKinney

Plot:  4 out of 5 stars (for the entire collection)

Gore:  3 out of 10 skulls (for the entire collection)

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains (for the entire collection)

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

Let the 2012 readings begin, and if they’re all this fantastic then I’m in for a huge treat this year!!  Being someone who is fascinated with the entire creative process, I find it really amazing that there’s certain horror authors out there who make writing look effortless.  There’s Joe McKinney and his Dead World series of novels; there’s F. Paul Wilson and his Repairman Jack novels; and there’s Jonathan Maberry with … well with everything he’s ever written!!  By all signs, DEAD OF NIGHT should’ve been a predictable and “been there, read that” novel about the origins of a zombie virus that decimates a small Pennsylvania town in Stebbins County.  But Maberry has such focus and such a unique storytelling way about his writing that you’ll feel as though this is the first zombie novel you’ve ever read.

The story’s multi-layered plot involves the lethal injection of Homer Gibbon, a very nasty man; Dr. Volker, an obsessed Cold War-era scientist; Billy Trout, a reporter looking for that one big story to thrust him into the national limelight; and Desdemona Fox (Dez) and JT Hammond, two local cops who get swooped up in the middle of the zombie epidemic.  What started out for Dr. Volker as an act of revenge spirals out of control and threatens the very safety of Stebbins County, America as a whole, and the world in general.  Maberry performs his magic once again and creates another amazing story that grabs you from the opening sentence (“This is how the world ends”) and makes it very difficult to put the book down.  Maberry’s writing style is fast-paced and crisp and he gives us believable characters who react to extraordinary situations in very realistic ways.  We get a long list of really great characters, the best and most complex being Dez, the Stebbins County police officer.  Dez is a conflicted and essentially tortured woman with whom ya wanna root for her, but she makes it hard to like her.  Maberry does a terrific job crafting a believable and realistic female lead.

But what’s really impressive here is that Maberry takes the increasingly more and more over-used set-up of the origins of a zombie apocalypse and somehow makes it feel new and fresh.  DEAD OF NIGHT is no doubt “that story” about the origins and spread of a devastating zombie plague that is 100% infectious and faster than any zombie agent I’ve read about or seen in a long time.  This, in fact, is one of the ways Maberry makes everything here seem so fresh.  He takes a different approach to zombies by incorporating old school voodoo with new school genetic technology.  And this isn’t some virus cooked up in a military lab or by Mother Nature herself.  The explanation here is far more disturbing.  (Don’t worry; this is a SPOILER FREE REVIEW and I’m not gonna go into the specifics of the outbreak).  Let’s just say that you’ll be itching as you read this one.

Maberry takes an almost metaphysical approach to zombies here.  He separates the zombie mind from the zombie body and creates a duality in which the mind can be manipulated.  Patient Zero (no pun intended to Maberry’s first zombie novel) is unique in that he retained control over his consciousness and intellect (mind) as well as being able to control his body.  The first person he infects is a little more dumbed down and is a mind detached from the body.  This victim’s body becomes like an automaton with a fully conscious mind trapped inside having to witness all the horrors of eating and infecting others and not being able to do a goddamn thing about it.  It’s a horrifying thought, and one that Mayberry fully exploits.

The one question that always bothers me about zombies is why do they need to eat?  They have no bodily functions to “fuel,” so why the urge to eat … a lot?  Well with Maberry’s explanation as to the cause of the zombie outbreak he nicely explains why indeed zombies eat so much and so often (I believe I also explain this nicely in my debut zombie novel, DEAD HUNGER, being released soon).

DEAD OF NIGHT also doesn’t have a nice little resolution where the calvary swoops in and saves the day in the last minute and we get a nice little bow wrapping everything up.  Not this time people.  Maberry fucks around with the entire formula here.  The good guys aren’t so good and the bad guys aren’t all bad.  Odd alliances are made in the name of survival and it’s sure fun as hell to watch it all play out.

Maberry’s been around now for a while, and it’s clear he isn’t going anywhere (thankfully).  Maberry again proves why he’s a bestseller and pretty much dares you to put the book down.  I had a lot of tired workdays from being up way too late reading DEAD OF NIGHT, but you try and put it down!!  Highly recommended.

My Summary:

Author:  Jonathan Maberry

Plot:  4 out of 5 stars

Gore:  9 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  5 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

I admit it; I don’t do nearly enough reviews on horror art.  Part of it is that I don’t have much of a background in art or art criticism.  But, as the layman will say, I know what I like and I really like TAXIDERMIED.  TAXIDERMIED is as simply laid out as it is beautiful to look at.  Artist Roman Dirge (is that not a kick ass name??) divides this book into five chapters:  Sketches, Artwork, Scarytales, Monster!, and Funny Bone.  Each chapter, of course, contains images relevant to the theme of that chapter.  Dirge, who wrote the introduction, tells us,

My art reflects me pretty appropriately.  My love of taxidermy and oddities seeps its way into pretty much everything I do.  I can try to draw the simplest, most innocent of things … but I guarantee it’ll end up with blood and a restraining order involved.

Dirge’s art is a mixed bag of images ranging from decomposing, sexy girls to medical monstrosities to his warped take on fairy tales.  They all have a demented beauty to them and I often found myself staring at various pages for long moments at a time, just taking in the detail and absorbing the twisted and demented forms.  But there’s also a playfulness to Dirge’s art that keeps everything from getting too creepy or scary.  My six year old son really enjoyed looking through TAXIDERMIED (there were only a few pages I had to edit).

The last chapter, Funny Bone, is a hysterical collection of one-panel comics that capture his demented artwork, but with a sense of humor.  As Dirge writes in the intro to this chapter, “Look, sometimes you just want to make silly, mindless drawings.  I’m good at being mindless and I like to draw.  It’s a win-win, really.”  There’s a definite Tim Burton-esque edge to his art that I think you’ll really dig.  And in this last chapter we get a really good glimpse at Dirge’s sense of humor.  He must be a hit at cocktail parties!!

Roman Dirge is most known for his comic book series LENORE, and if you haven’t heard about it, it’s definitely worth looking up.  TAXIDERMIED is a great place to start and to acquaint yourselves with his art.  Like I said in the beginning of this review; I am no art critic but I know what I like and I know what I really like, and I really like TAXIDERMIED.  Check this one out!!

My Summary:

Author:  Roman Dirge

Artwork:  5 out of 5 stars

Gore:  4 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  2 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

For a while now ‘religious horror’ has almost exclusively taken the form of possession, EXORCIST-like films and novels.  We all know the formula:  Person is possessed.  A skeptical expert is brought in.  Said expert begins to believe.  Said expert reclaims their faith and saves the day.  Ho-hum.  So it’s refreshing to get a religious-based genre book that occurs in a place meant for horror stories … Hell.  HIGHWAY TO HELL is a rather ambitious novel with many characters and an apocalyptic tone to it.  Does it work?

The story begins with a section dedicated to each of the six main characters, Marcus, Becky, Richard, Helen, Sammy, and Graham.  They’re all strangers (with the exception of Marcus and Becky) who we’re introduced too and who subsequently die in the opening pages.  We then follow them all to Hell where they must confront their demons (the figurative and literal kind) and are tortured for what they think will be eternity.  But one day they all wake up to find themselves in a strange room in an even stranger building.  Someone, or something, has saved them from their eternal fates.  As they all get to know each other they soon realize who their saviors are and why they were saved.  It seems Lucifer is hell-bent (sorry) on conquering not only Earth, but every dimension of existence.  I think.

I’m not gonna go too much more into detail here.  Author Alex Laybourne presents a slice of Hell that will remind you of Dante’s INFERNO while at the same time adds some new twists to the party.  Laybourne does a really nice job in the opening chapters introducing and developing the characters.  We learn a lot about each of the six main players.  We learn that they are all essentially good people who find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.  But Laybourne’s writing style is quick and accessible and he does a good job keeping track of all the main characters here.

After the opening sections where all the characters die, this is followed by a chapter where all six find themselves in various chambers in Hell where they must come face-to-face with their past “sins” and then live out the tortures their demons dish out.  It’s only after we’re more than half way into the novel that the main story begins to emerge.  Some angels saved our six characters in order to help stop Lucifer from taking over.

I think.

Yeah; that’s the second time I wrote, “I think.”  Part One of the novel is clear enough:  We meet the characters, learn about them, watch them die, and then watch as they suffer in Hell.  But after they’re saved by the angel’s, I must admit that I got a little confused.  I was never really sure what the six people were saved for and how they were supposed to save the world (and all worlds for that matter).  We get a lot of talk from the angels about how they saved the group and about Lucifer’s plans, but I was never really sure about how this connected with the first part of the novel.  It almost felt like two separate novels strung together:  People dying and having to face their personal demons in Hell and a story about people trying to save the world from Lucifer’s clutches.  As good as the first story is, I felt the second part of the novel never synchronized with the first.  Laybourne takes so long in the set-up that when we finally get to what I thought would be the main conflict of the novel, it just kind of ends.  I really have no idea how these six people saved the world or if they even did!!

Luckily I really enjoyed Laybourne’s writing style and his characterizations.  He really gives some detailed personalities to his main players.  I also liked his portrayal of the angels.  Think Christopher Walken’s portrayal of Gabriel in 1995’s THE PROPHESY … with more threat and attitude.  HIGHWAY TO HELL isn’t a completely successful novel, but it’s a fun read.  Dante himself would cringed at some of the punishments Laybourne talks about in Hell!!  Check it out.

My Summary:

Author:  Alex Laybourne

Plot:  3 out of 5 stars

Gore:  6 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

As anythinghorror.com gets more and more popular I keep getting more and more requests both from big publishers and indie horror authors to read and review upcoming releases.  And like the huge whore that I am I can’t say no.  I’m so backed up with novels that my house looks like a Half-Priced Books during inventory.  But I keep accepting books because there’s so many talented writers out there and I don’t wanna miss out on a really great read.  For example BLEED, by Ed Kurtz.  Kurtz contacted me back in early Spring of this year and I’m glad he did.  BLEED was an amazing read that combined the best elements of Clive Barker and David Cronenberg.  Ed Kurtz won’t stay “unknown” for long.

So when Jake Bannerman contacted me about reading his anthology of short stories, THE PITCHFORK DIARIES: VOLUME ONE, I didn’t hesitate.  In the sell sheet we’re promised:

[A] collection of short stories and prose unlike anything you have ever read before. Even the darkest and most violent imaginings of your mind cannot come close to matching the horrors contained within.

My initial thought was, “Uh-oh; here we go again.  Another writer promising extreme horror that can’t possibly live up to the hype.”  I was wrong.  Bannerman pushes the envelope and really explores territories that most writers won’t even think of tapping into.  But before I go into some of the individual stories, I must point out that calling these ‘short stories’ isn’t exactly accurate.  The exact length a short story should be is often debated and changes from publication to publication.  In the most general terms, a short story (in contemporary times) often has no more than 20,000 words and is no shorter than 1,000 words.  But many of the stories in THE PITCHFORK DIARIES fall, in my estimation, right around or below the 1,000 word mark.  Stories under 1,000 words are often referred to as ‘short short fiction’ or ‘flash fiction.‘  At first I found it hard to get into these short short stories, but after reading three of them I realized how amazing they and Bannerman’s writing is.

All of Bannerman’s stories have the classic elements of storytelling:  protagonists, antagonists, a climax, etc …, but these elements aren’t always fleshed out and in detail.  Often times the central conflict and resolution are ‘unwritten’ and merely hinted at or implied.  This allows the reader’s mind to finish the story that Bannerman began.  This isn’t to say he leaves the stories with unsatisfying endings; far from it.  Bannerman simply weaves some really disturbing tales and let’s the mind of the reader fill in some of the details.  And it totally works.

The majority of the stories in THE PITCHFORK DIARIES have some kind of religious and sexual edge to them.  Some authors use their writings to work out their conflicted personal views about religion.  Bannerman isn’t ‘working’ anything out; he knows exactly what his thoughts are about religion.  In his very short story “Born of the Flickering,” Bannerman describes a convent that offers a way for men of all ages to cleanse their soul’s of the sin of pre-marital sex, but which actually condemns them to Hell.  This is one of his shorter stories that really packs a punch.  Then in “Juden,” we learn the truth of who god really selected as the “Chosen People.”  In “The Seed of Abortion” Bannerman explores the radical way the church keeps one young girl from engaging in sex and preventing pregnancy.  The ending of this one will make even guys double over, feeling the pain of the lead girl.

But not all of the stories have a religious angle.  In “Becoming,” one of the longer stories, we’re told how circuses are lies “bigger than Christianity.”  This is the disturbing story of an eleven year old girl raped while at the circus.  But the rapist isn’t what they at first appear to be.  And just when you think Bannerman has hit the bottom of the barrel in depravity, the story adds one last element at the very end that finds a new bottom.  But Bannerman also has something to say in his stories.  He brings up big ethical questions in “900 to 1” and “The Guts of Christ;” relates his disgust of reality TV in “Starvin’ Marvin;” and explores the levels of human depravity while examining the relationship between sex and the internet in “To Walk the Path of Maggots.”

And scattered throughout THE PITCHFORK DIARIES, Bannerman has some pretty dark poetry explores everything from apocalyptic visions, death, and everything in between.  But perhaps the most shocking story, for me anyway, was the final one in the anthology, “The Stillborn Divine.”  In this one we learn the truth of why some babies are stillborn.  Yikes; does Bannerman have religious people picketing outside his home 24 hours a day??

THE PITCHFORK DIARIES: VOLUME ONE is a fast read.  You’ll eat up Bannerman’s stories and be amazed that he consistently explores areas that most writers stay away from.  His unique approach to storytelling will have you thinking about his works long after turning the page on them.  THE PITCHFORK DIARIES was released just a few days ago (on September 10, 2011), and you can get the Kindle version here.  These stories haven’t been written just so Bannerman can prove how “extreme” he can be. These stories draw their shock and depravity from the content Bannerman is writing about and the message he’s trying to convey.  Don’t miss this anthology!!

My Summary:

Author:  Jake Bannerman

Plot:  4 out of 5 stars

Gore:  7 out of 10 skulls (for overall content)

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

About a month ago I reviewed the debut novel by horror icon director Tobe Hooper (click here).  Earlier today I finished reading the debut novel by horror writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan (and Stephen Romano), BLACK LIGHT.  What’s that?  You say their names don’t sound familiar?  Well first off, shame on you!!  This writing duo hit the scene hard in 2005 with the high energy creature flick FEAST.  Since then they (together) wrote two more FEAST sequels, SAW films 4-6 & SAW 3D, THE COLLECTOR, and the upcoming PIRANHA 3DD and the sequel to THE COLLECTOR, THE COLLECTION.  They have some pretty solid and gory films under their belts, for sure!!  That’s why I was so excite when publisher Mulholland Books sent me over an advance of the novel to read and review (it’ll be released on October 5, 2011).  BLACK LIGHT, you’re probably thinking, is full of blood, guts, and gore, right?  Eehhh let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

BLACK LIGHT is the story of Buck Carlsbad, a guy who has a very special gift.  Buck can talk to dead people and also track/hunt down the more malevolent spirits who possess people, and through using The Pull can essentially suck the evil spirit out of the person possessed and contain it in his own body.  Like I said; it’s a pretty special gift.  As the novel moves along, Buck finds himself at the center of potentially extremely dangerous situation.  Eccentric ga-gillionaire Sydney Jaeger, has built a state of the art train that travels from Los Angeles to Las Vegas in about 2 hours.  It’s the fasted thing ever built and uses cutting edge technology that essentially lifts the train off the tracks as it gets faster and faster.  The only problem is the train shoots right through The Black Light Triangle, a dangerous part of the desert where Buck had a run in many years ago with something that almost killed him.  So to cover all his bases, Jaeger hires Buck to be on the train’s maiden voyage to ensure nothing paranormal goes wrong.  Buck assembles his team and before you can say, “We’re fucked,” things go terribly wrong.

There’s a lot going on in BLACK LIGHT and Melton and Dunstan (along with Romano) stay focused on the story and never let it get out of control.  The novel takes many twists as a conspiracy is unveiled and Buck finds himself in deeper and deeper trouble.  The character of Buck Carlsbad is very well written and we get a pretty amazing story arc for this character.  Buck starts off as a semi-confident “ghost hunter” (for lack of a better term) who suddenly finds himself in a situation where he has lost control and put himself and everyone around him in very serious danger.  But Buck also finds a sense of redemption from his fuzzy and violent past.  Everything connects nicely here and we get a satisfying resolution that ties up all the various story lines.  Unfortunately Buck is pretty much the only character that we really “get to know.”  We get some depth with other characters, but for the most part the other players in BLACK LIGHT are pretty shallow.

The story itself is pretty damn interesting and will definitely keep your attention.  I must admit that I had a little trouble getting into the story at first.  I found myself about a hundred pages in before it really grabbed me.  But I’m glad I stuck with it because the second half of the book is a real roller coaster ride that was hard to put down.

There’s also a very Noir-like edge to BLACK LIGHT as Buck narrates the story.  I liked this element and thought it helped a lot to create and sustain the dark atmosphere and tone of the book.  But I was surprised (well, actually shocked) by the lack of gore in the novel.  I mean seriously; Melton and Dunstan wrote the goddamn FEAST trilogy, four of the gorier SAW flicks, and the very gory THE COLLECTOR.  But BLACK LIGHT isn’t trying to be a horror novel.  This is a supernatural-action-thriller, and in this aspect it works … extremely well.  Buck is like a high-tech exorcist, with an attitude and the ability to kick your ass good.  At first I wasn’t too crazy about the lead character being able to see and interact with dead people.  I felt I was getting another Koontz-esque Odd Thomas-like character.  Maybe Melton and Dunstan start off with a familiar ‘talking-to-the-dead’ character, but they end up with creating a pretty damn fascinating modern day human ghost hunter who experiences very real pain and suffering when he uses his gift.  Buck is a great character that I could see become the star of a series of novels.

BLACK LIGHT is a solid novel that is well written, fast-paced, and has enough twists and turns to keep you guessing and wondering what the hell is actually going on.  A little more character development of some of the other players in the novel would have made BLACK LIGHT a novel to be reckoned with, but hey; this is their first novel … I’m gonna cut them some slack!!  BLACK LIGHT is a damn fun read and there’s many parts that’ll have you turning on more lights in the house as you read it.  BLACK LIGHT is slated to be released October 5, 2011 … perfect timing for a really fun Halloween read!!  Check this one out.

My Summary:

Authors:  Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan, Stephen Romano

Plot:  3 out of 5 stars

Gore:  1 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer