The good thing is even though this flick was picked up by the SyFy Channel for distribution, it wasn’t MADE by the SyFy Channel.  Score one point to Infestation. The bad thing is it COULD’VE been made by the SyFy Channel. Take that point away.  All the usual suspects are here: cheesy dialogue, pretty silly action, and a bizarre plot.  But somehow writer-director Kyle Rankin makes this one pretty fun (up until the ending; more on this later).  And let’s admit it; we watch these creature movies FOR the creatures.  If they are passable and cool looking we’ll forgive other sins the movie commits.  And surprisingly the creatures, giant beetle-like things, look pretty good.  They look like a composite of both practical and CGI f/x, and the f/x team did a good job of making it look like the creatures were really attacking  and killing the cast members.  I think we can give that point back to the film.

The story follows our hero, Cooper (Chris Marquette who looks a little like a bloated John Cusack), a slacker who can’t hold down a job and who thinks life is a big joke.  The movie opens with him about to get fired from yet another job when suddenly a loud, ear piercing noise comes out of nowhere and makes everyone in the entire city (and country??) black out.  A few days later Cooper wakes up to find himself and everyone else in giant cocoons.  He gets out, releases the others, and discovers that Volkswagen-sized beetle-like creatures are responsible.  So the survivors set out to Cooper’s house because his dad (the always great Ray Wise) is an ex-soldier and survival nut who built a bomb shelter and stocked it full of supplies.  It’s a bizarre plot that never offers an explanation about the huge beetles; they are apparently an alien race that just show up one day and that’s that.  There’s also a few scenes of human beings that have been turned into some kind of odd human-spider hybrid creatures that are helping the invading beetles round up the humans.  They are pretty creepy looking (at least to me since I fucking HATE spiders.  Click here)!!

I also like that the characters aren’t so cookie-cutter-ish (is that a friggin’ word??) for this kinda flick.  Cooper is kind of a douche and his love interest Sara, the ass-kicking college student (Brooke Nevin) comes of as a bitch, but they both end up being rather likable and you find yourself rooting for them.  The whole flick plays like a 50’s creature feature and Rankin pulls it off by keeping the plot moving fast (he wastes no time in getting to the “infestation” … literally within the first 10 minutes), giving us some passable f/x, and keeping everything “light.”  Rankin never takes this material seriously and doesn’t expect the viewer too either.  Most of this film works pretty well as a horror-comedy (Cooper’s interactions with his dad are pretty funny), and the humor and horror are separated enough so one element doesn’t take away from the other.  But unfortunately this flick fails in one important aspect; the ending.  What the hell was Rankin thinking with this ending?  Our three surviving characters are walking on the street when one points to something in the distance.  The other two look up and one says, “Whoa,” while the other says “Holy shit.”  And then the screen goes blank.  The end.  Seriously?  WTF??!!!?  Is that a lame ass attempt to set up Infestation 2?  It’s a shame because the ending turned an otherwise enjoyable, fun movie into something frustrating that leaves you feeling like you missed out on the punchline.  Did they run out of money on the last day of shooting and couldn’t afford to show us what was off in the distance?  I don’t think so.  I think Rankin was trying to be clever.  A swing and a big miss.

Besides the ending this is a pretty fun giant creature invasion movie that has  some good laughs and some decent looking creatures (especially the human-insect hybrids).  This is a fun one to throw on with some buddies and beer.  I’m sure it’ll be on the SyFy Channel soon; keep your eyes open for it.

My Summary:

Director:  Kyle Rankin (and writer)

Plot:  3 out of 5 stars

Gore:  2 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

Admittedly I watched this on the SyFy Channel because I knew exactly what I was gonna get; a pretty formulaic giant creature flick complete with cookie cutter characters and predictable plot points.  But what made this one so effective (for me at least) is the fact that I absolutely fucking HATE spiders and this movie managed to get under my skin.  Just watching those big ass spiders jumping on people had my skin crawling!!  Go ahead; I’ll give you a second to stop laughing at the image of a 6’4”, 220# guy huddled up in the foetal position on the couch watching this flick.  Ya done?  Ok then.

Ice Spiders is directed by my old buddy Tibor Takács.  If you’re a frequent reader of this website then you know his work.  He’s directed such classics like Nature Unleashed: Earthquake (2004), Mansquito (2005), The Black Hole (2006), Mega Snake (2007), and Meteor Storm (2010) … all having solid runs on the SyFy Channel.  But Takács’ also directed the cult favorite The Gate (1987).  So say what you will about Takács, but he knows how to deliver on films that with any other director would be completely laughable.  I think Takács’ success lies in never taking his material too seriously.  He knows he’s making cheese and never tries to pass off his films as poignant flicks with a message.

This film just creeped me the fuck out!!

This movie also boasts the acting prowess of Patrick Muldoon as Dan “Dash” Dashiell, a washed up pro-skier who now teaches at a ski resort.  Muldoon is one of those actors who’s been in some pretty solid movies (1997’s Starship Troopers, 1998‘s The Second Arrival, and 1999’s Stigmata), but has never been able to make that leap to “a-list” stardom.  But for my money he always turns in a solid performance and Ice Spiders is no different.  Muldoon looks like he’s having a really fun time in his role as the washed-up/slacker who must save the day.

We even get the point of view from the spiders!!

Unlike what the DVD cover suggests, the spiders aren’t the sizes of houses. They fall somewhere between a really large dog and a Volkswagon Bug. Plenty big to creep me the fuck out.  And what’s more, the CGI in this one is better than the usual flick airing on the SyFy Channel.  Visual f/x supervisor’s Bennique and Steven Blasini managed to capture that creepy way spiders move perfectly.  And when those goddamn spiders started jumping on hunters and skiers, my skin was crawling.  The formulaic story, which you’ve seen a 1,000 times before, concerns scientists pumping six different deadly spiders full of steroids and growth hormones to make them big.  Ok, I gotta ask; why the FUCK do scientists always wanna make spiders bigger??  To what end is a gigantic spider gonna help humanity??  Anyway, the lab is next door to a ski resort where ski instructor Muldoon, who’s also apparently ex-Marine(???), works.  You know what happens next.  Spiders break out of the lab; spiders kill skiers; skiers barricade themselves in the resort; the head scientist is a creep; and the military is completely ineffective.  So Muldoon, along with Dr. April Sommers, played by Vanessa Williams (not THAT Vanessa Williams) fight off the spiders and save the day.  Again, credit needs to go to director Takács for keeping everything moving along at a nice pace.  And I must be honest that if it wasn’t for my personal hangup on spiders creeping me out I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed this one as much as I did.  It has lots of fun moments but also has that “been there, seen that” feel to it.  So I recommend this one to people who really hate spiders.  They will definitely creep you out and get under your skin.  For those of you psycho’s who don’t mind spiders, well I think you’ll just be bored with this one.

My Summary:

Plot:  2 out of 5 stars

Director:  Tibor Takács

Gore:  0 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed (and still creeped out) by Scott Shoyer

[I’ve decided to review this one due to the upcoming DVD release of it’s remake.]

There is a lot written about this movie.  I’ve read articles examining I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE’s misogyny (duh) and about how it can be seen as THE female empowerment flick … you know, over intellectualized bullshit like that.  But fuck all that noise and take this for what it is:  It’s an exploitive, grindhouse revenge flick.  That’s it.  I’ll be honest; this has a special place in my heart due to the (very) young age which I saw it (I was 13 years old); it’s one of my “classics” I revisit every now and then (and then quickly regret watching).  So I always recommend this one to people who think they are completely desensitized to movie violence.  But this movie is also far from a perfect flick.

Jennifer Hills (Camille Keaton) is a big city writer who rents a cabin away from the hustle and bustle of city life.  Unfortunately for her the locals have, let’s call it, “boundary issues.”  Johnny, Stanley, and Andy (Eron Tabor, Anthony Nichols, and Gunter Kleemann respectively) are three of the most disgusting male characters you will find in any movie … anywhere.  They not only hate women, they view women as toys who couldn’t possibly not like what they are planning.  Watching these fuck sticks will make you run to the shower and scrub until your skin is numb.

Talk about getting stuck between a rock and a "hard" place!!

These cunt-tards start by stalking Jennifer around her property and gradually step up to full fledge assault.  Seriously people this flick is not for the squeamish.  Besides this being the longest hate-rape scene ever put on film, its also the most BRUTAL gang rape scene ever.  This scene is filmed so realistically and raw that it’ll make even the most jaded exploitation fan turn their head away.  And yes, it absolutely goes on way too long.  It crosses from being an act of savagery to exploitive voyeurism after about the first 5 minutes.  When the guys are done they leave her for dead and send in their retarded buddy Matthew (Richard Pace) to finish the job.  He doesn’t have the stones to go through with it and leaves her half dead (and of course tells his buddies he killed her).  So Matthew is OK with gang rape but draws the line at murder; it’s good to know your limits.  Jenny is (obviously) traumatized but she is also fucking pissed.  She never goes to the cops but instead recuperates and then sets out to take her own revenge on the fucktards who repeatedly raped her.  The following murder/revenge set pieces will have you cheering her on.  The most disturbing scene is when she goes back to the leader of the douchetards and seduces him so he’ll go home with her.  What’s so fucked up about it is the look on his face; he’s so goddamn smug that you know he doesn’t regret what he did to her for one second.  There’s no remorse.  Hell, he doesn’t even think he did anything wrong!!  The look in his eyes says, “I knew she wanted it and I knew she loved it.”  Really creepy and disturbing.  The highlight of her revenge is when she cuts off one of her attackers’ vein canes in the tub.  You’ll be standing up and cheering her on while at the same time wincing.

Things are about to get VERY bloody!!

But when asked, “Is this really a good movie,” I have to hesitate for a second.  It’s a really fun exploitation, grindhouse flick.  But it has a lot of continuity and technical problems that would keep me from calling it a “good movie”.  We get long, still, uninterrupted shots of Jennifer walking around.  Sometimes they work but writer-director Meir Zarchi (who’s only other flick was 1985’s terrible DON’T MESS WITH MY SISTER!) doesn’t have the best eye for setting up a shot.  But the performances are pretty damn good.  The actors playing the three guys are so fucking convincing that I’d be surprised if they let their real wives watch their performances.  And Camille Keaton does a phenomenal job as the victim that refuses to remain a victim.  But beware; there’s not one endearing male character in this entire flick, and if you’re looking for a film where the guys learn something about themselves and work at redeeming their acts, well you are definitely NOT at the right flick!!

Say what you will about the film, but Camille Keaton does a tremendous job in a VERY demanding role.

This is another one of those movies I saw when I was too young.  I was 13 years old and that prolonged rape scene really affected me …. oh who am I kidding?  By 13 I already saw the original LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972), CANNIBAL FEROX (1981), and a slew of other graphic Italian cannibal flicks.  I was already pretty desensitized by the time I was 13.  Don’t read too much into I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE; it’s not the manifesto for women’s empowerment.  This is just another good old fashioned fun grindhouse revenge flick that wallows in exploitation.  Just bring a date (and a bar of soap) and have fun.

My Summary:

Director:  Meir Zarchi (and writer)

Plot:  3.5 out of 5 stars

Gore:  7.5 out of 10 skulls (actually this is the “violence” rating; not gore)

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

Well it’s finally here!!  I’ve been covering MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID (premiering this Saturday, January 29th at 9pm ET/PT) since the early summer, 2010.  We all know it stars former teen pop idols Debbie Gibson and Tiffany, has a Monkee in it, and has a gaggle of large-ass snakes and gators … but does SyFy pull off “the television movie event of 2011,” as the press release promises, or are we left feeling disappointed and let down (kind of like we were with MEGA SHARK VS. CROCOSAURUS)?  Well I won’t keep you in suspense any longer …  MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID is the most fun I’ve had in a giant creature match-up since MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS.  Writer Naomi L. Selfman really delivers some fun dialogue and great scenes of giant creature destruction and teen pop idol destruction.  This of course won’t win any awards but you’ll definitely have a really fun time.

Deb Gibson's Nikki kinda has this sexy, white trash-thing going on.

Nikki (Deborah Gibson) is an animal-right’s activist who’s pissed off with the local pet shop that’s selling python’s to rich kids.  So one night she and a few other activists raid the store, snatch up all the snakes, and unleash them in the nearby everglades.  Terry (Tiffany) is a park ranger who really loves gators.  She’s pissed off that her beloved gators are being killed in their natural habitat.  When she discovers the cause of the gator deaths are the newly “liberated” pythons she pretty much snaps.  She gets her deputy Angie (Kathryn Joosten) to call her nephew(??) who gets enough steroids to create 10 Jose Canseco’s and 7 Mark McGwire’s.  She also gets an experimental steroid that blocks the proteins that limit muscle growth so “the muscles won’t stop growing.”  Do ya see where this is going?  She feeds the gators (gator-ROID; get it?), the snakes eat the gators, and before you can say “Fuck Darwin,” you got yourself a lot of aggressive, gigantic, pissed off critters running around the everglades and eventually downtown Miami.

Of course everything here is played for fun and absolutely nothing is to be taken seriously.  We see plenty of giant gators and pythons attacking and killing lots of people, and for a SyFy Channel Original we actually get more gore than in most of these types of flicks.  We get lots of bloody, torn off body parts and we get to see them up-close.  But perhaps even better is that we get a great smackdown scene between Gibson and Tiffany.  The tension between these two is built up the entire movie and it reaches it’s boiling point at an everglade’s fundraiser.  They bitch-slap each other, straddle each other, and rub cake into each other’s titties … I’m not kidding.  Their fighting takes them into the water away from the fundraiser, where the creatures have started attacking, and when they realize they’re away from everyone else Gibson’s character Nikki looks around and says, “I think we’re alone now.”  Yeah I know; but still funny.

Director Mary Lambert (who you’ll remember came on the horror scene, gun’s blazing, with 1989‘s PET SEMATARY and actually began her career directing music videos and documentaries for The Go-Go’s, Madonna, and Bobby Brown) keeps everything moving along at a quick pace and brings a really great energy to the project.  The directing here is definitely better than most SyFy Originals!!  I think The Asylum and the SyFy Channel might be onto a winning equation here:  MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID is directed, written, and its’ main stars are all women.  I’m just saying.

As fun as it is watching Debbie and Tiffany bitch-slapping each other, what I (and I’m guessing you) wanna see are the titular creatures fucking shit up.  And don’t worry Lambert delivers on this as well.  Yes we get the same level of CGI f/x that are in most SyFy Originals (let’s face it; it’s inevitable), but its a whole lotta fun watching the pythons and gators chomping off body parts and heads as they grow to mammoth proportions (we actually get to see a gator growing and transforming into a huge ass “gatoroid”; it actually looked like we were watching a transformation scene from THE INCREDIBLE HULK).  And if you’ve ever thought to yourself, “What these films lack are blown up, bloody pieces of giant creatures raining down on the cast,” then you’re in luck.  We get both human and reptilian bits and pieces flying all over the place!!

Let the "cake titties" olympics begin!!

MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID also has a really great sense of humor running through it.  When the pop idols first confront each other and Gibson touches Tiffany on her shoulder (and gets a rude response from Tiffany), Gibson retorts, “Eewww, somebody had ‘bitch’ for breakfast.”  And when Tiffany realizes all the pythons are killing her gators she says in her best ice-tone, “[Pythons] aren’t at the top of the food chain.  I am.”  Good stuff!!  We also get a lot of secondary characters to serve as python-gator chow.  There’s a slew of heavily armed rednecks hunting down the giant creatures (all with flasks … do all rednecks carry around flasks?); other park rangers; Dr. Diego (A. Martinez) who wants to call in the national guard; and even a Monkee, Micky Dolenz, playing himself.  There’s a ton of expendable characters and director Lambert uses them all in the exact way we want them used … as food!!

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing!!"

MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID promises a lot and delivers big fun.  It’s the best giant creature flick since MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS and MEGA PIRANHA and has better laughs and gore than both.  The only thing missing here is one of the creatures plucking a helicopter out of the sky (and there were plenty of opportunities).  A lot of questions are answered here as well.  Did you know that you can out smart a cop who’s chasing you at night by simply turning off your car’s lights and hiding behind a tree?  Or that an alligator’s eggs are extremely flammable and explosive?  Or that most people who go to “Save the Everglades” fundraisers are heavily armed?  It’s all true!!  On top of this, throw in the “bitch” word about 20 times and you have yourself a damn fun flick to invite all your friends over to watch.  The giant creature match-up flicks are here to stay, and if they can deliver like MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID does, then I say bring ‘em on!!  Check this one out.

My Summary:

Director:  Mary Lambert

Plot:  3.5 out of 5 stars

Gore:  4 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

I love Brad Anderson, director of VANISHING ON 7TH STREET. Anderson’s 2001 psychological horror film SESSION 9 is still one of my favorite genre flicks of all time.  It’s like the best ghost story that ends up not having any ghosts in it.  His ability to craft and unfold a story is brilliant and he always manages to create just about the creepiest atmospheres in all his films (Anderson also directed nine episodes of the TV show FRINGE).  So when I heard about VANISHING ON 7TH STREET I was, needless to say, extremely excited and had high hopes.  That’s why it hurts so much to have to say that this film is overall disappointing.  We get strong performances and a solid premise, but this one just leaves you feeling “meh” and that you’ve missed something.

A massive power outage hits Detroit and in a matter of seconds the vast majority of the population has disappeared leaving only behind cloths, watches, and other items that aren’t organic.  Left behind in the aftermath are Luke (Hayden Christensen), Rosemary (Thandie Newton), Paul (John Leguizamo), 12 year old James (Jacob Latimore) and a little girl, Briana (Taylor Groothuis), who you feel should have a bigger part in what’s going on.  The length of sunlight is becoming shorter every day and if you find yourself caught in the dark you are instantly swallowed up by the shadows.  So we watch our survivors as they try and stay within the light, avoid the darkness, and try and figure out what the hell is going on.  They all congregate at Sonny’s, a local bar, who’s owner has a gas-fueled generator in the basement supplying them with a steady supply of light.  But of course the generator is damaged and is slowly dying thereby forcing our group to come up with a plan to save themselves.  Key the music … DAH DUH DAAAAAH.

Honestly there’s not much more to the plot then this.  After the outage and after the film establishes the rules (stay in the light, the darkness kills), we pretty much settle into a pattern of watching lots and lots of scenes of people scrambling to get in/stay in the light from the ever encroaching darkness.  Plus we get lots of scenes of people disintegrating when the darkness takes them.  In all honestly I thought this was rather slow for an Anderson film.  I realize he was creating tension and suspense, but he’s done this in every one of his films and I’ve never felt bored before.  But I do have to give Anderson credit for doing something that I thought would be impossible:  The way he utilizes and manipulates shadows and builds tension, Anderson actually creates a character out of the darkness.  The darkness is always present threat and is always ready to take the survivors.  Yes the use of shadows was all done digitally, but for the most part it was done well (there were times, though, you knew you were watching a digital effect).

All the performances were strong, even Christensen, but perhaps the strongest performance was from the 12 year old James (Latimore).  His mother worked in the bar Sonny’s where all the survivors gathered, but she left to go to the church across the street when she saw there was a light on in it.  She never returned but James is determined to stay in the bar, where his mom told him to stay put, until she returns.  It’s a great performance; you can see that James knows his mom is never gonna return but he doesn’t really wanna face that fact.  It was a great performance for such a young actor.

But performances aside, the question on everyone’s mind is about the darkness:  What the hell is it?  Is it the rapture?  I’d say no; if it was we’d have demons and even satan himself on earth.  Is it aliens?  Don’t know.  Is it some particle accelerator accident?  Don’t know.  Is it some inter-dimensional rift that is seeping into our reality?  Again; don’t know.  That’s one of the major problems here; writer Anthony Jaswinski never throws us a bone and doesn’t even offer a small explanation.  I’m not one who needs every detail of a film spelled out, but there are limits.  We get nothing about what the darkness is, where it came from, and what it wants.  There’s no explanation at all; none whatsoever, and I must admit that it was frustrating.  We get the story from Paul about the disappearance of a colony on Roanoke Island.  It seemed that a colony settled there disappeared without a trace and the only clue that was left behind was the word “Croatoan” carved into a tree or a boulder.  At the end when Luke is leaving Detroit he sees, in huge letters, the word “Croatoan” carved into the tunnel he was about to enter.

Ok; so we get the implication that what’s happening in Detroit has happened before, but it really doesn’t work.  Jaswinski should have done better research.  John White was the first English child born in the New World and he left the colony on Roanoke Island to go back to England to get more supplies.  Before leaving the colony he left the others instructions that if they had to leave the settlement they were to carve the name of their destination so White could eventually catch up with them.  “Croatoan” was the name of an island to the south where a friendly native tribe lived.  White was unable to journey to that island due to bad weather and instead returned to England, never returning to the New World.  So it’s never been known one way or another if the colony actually made it to the island of Croatoan (today it’s known as Hatteras Island).  As far as we know the colonists made it there and lived happily ever after.  I just think Luke seeing the word “Croatoan” at the end doesn’t have the impact or mystery that writer Jaswinski wanted.

Another problem I had was that the rules of the darkness the film establishes aren’t always followed.  There were plenty of scenes when our cast was in what seemed to be a dark enough area and didn’t get attacked by the shadows, and other times secondary characters seemed to be in a well lit room but were still attacked by the shadows.  It’s never good when a film doesn’t follow it’s own inner logic and rules it establishes.  There’s also some scenes that imply the shadows might be the souls of those who just died, but this is never explored more.  Ya just get the feeling that Anderson was working from an unfocused story.

Is VANISHING ON 7TH STREET a good film?  At times yes; in fact at times its a great film.  But there’s also times when the film doesn’t follow it’s own logic, and by not even attempting to offer an explanation you’ll feel empty after its all over.  Do I recommend VANISHING ON 7TH STREET?  Overall I’d say no.  I watched it on Movies on Demand and it cost $11 … it’s definitely not worth that much.  This is a film that has so much promise (there’s lots of great scenes in the beginning of an empty Detroit and an airplane falling outta the sky) yet you feel so empty after its over.  Unfortunately I have to say skip VANISHING ON 7TH STREET.  I’ll catch ya next time Mr. Anderson.

My Summary:

Director:  Brad Anderson

Plot:  2 out of 5 stars

Gore:  0 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  0 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer

Well this was a really pleasant surprise.  I wasn’t expecting too much from this one.  Some buddies told me that it wasn’t too good and that they were disappointed with the final product.  And I must confess that Larry Fessenden’s involvement didn’t get me excited either.  I’m not a fan of his movies.  Fessenden directed the 1996 vampire movie Habit, 2001’s Wendigo, and 2006’s The Last Winter.  Wendigo is definitely the best of his efforts but I found it a bit labored and talky.  And the final payoff just didn’t satisfy me at all.  The Last Winter was very disappointing; there was an environmental message, which I expected.  But fuck me I didn’t expect to be hammered over the head with that message for 101 minutes!!  James Cameron could take a lesson from Fessenden about hammering home a message (in Fessenden’s defense, Winter was a much better movie than Avatar!!).  With all this being said, I really liked Fessenden’s performance here in I Sell the Dead (more on this below).

The story is about two grave robbers, Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan) and Willie Grimes (Fessenden).  As the movie opens we see that they’re in custody and about to face to guillotine.  Father Duffy, played by an unusually restrained Ron Perlman, visits Blake in his cell to take down his final words and offer salvation.  Then through a series of flashbacks we see how Grimes introduced the young Blake to the profession of robbing graves.  There are some really funny moments here and the dialogue is quick and well-written.  Grimes and Blake work for Dr. Vernon Quint, played menacingly by none other than horror icon Angus Scrimm from the Phantasm franchise.  Scrimm’s Quint is a son of a bitch, and even though he’s a doctor we’re never exactly sure what he’s doing with those dead bodies!!

The plot really picks up as we learn, again through flashbacks, that Grimes and Blake also specialize in the stealing of “unique” bodies; bodies that sometimes aren’t actually completely dead or alive.  There’s also a rival gang of body snatchers, the Murphy family, who our heroes don’t wanna cross.  It’s with the introduction of the supernatural that the movie gets really fun.

Writer-director Glenn McQuaid keeps everything moving along at a nice pace and keeps everything light-hearted.  The use of flashbacks to tell the story gives this entire project a very episodic feel.  In fact it feels like an anthology flick held together by the “wrap around” story of Blake and Father Duffy talking in the jail cell.  This isn’t a complaint; I love me a good anthology flick, and this was the best I’ve seen in a while.  So as long as you don’t mind your movies being broken down into various non-connected episodes, you’ll really enjoy this one.

One other complaint I have with I Sell the Dead is that the horror elements are too down played here.  The three episodes for the horror lover are when Grimes and Blake dig up a vampire, an alien, and a zombie-like ghoul thing.  And you can see that McQuaid is more than competent with filming something scary.  The vampire scene is scary, funny, and really well shot.  But most of the time McQuaid pulls back just when things are moving into the “horror realm”.  This would have been a really kick ass flick if the comedy was kept the same but it had more horror elements to it and had a lot more gore (for example, McQuaid should have shown us Valentine Kelly’s disfigured face).  With these elements included this would easily become a cult classic.

But that’s not to say you won’t have a fun time.  You will.  Monaghan (who plays Charlie Pace on Lost) and Fessenden put in really great performances as the, at times, bumbling grave robbers who seem to keep stumbling into the supernatural time and time again.  This also has a great graphic novel feel to it and McQuaid plays with a lot of cool camera angles and funky lighting tricks to add to the atmosphere.  (On a side note, McQuaid released a graphic novel of the film in 2009.  We wrote it and Brahm Revel illustrated).  If you’re looking for a fun comedy not too heavy in the horror department, then check this one out.  You’ll like it.

My Summary:

Director:  Glenn McQuaid (and writer)

Plot:  4 out of 5 stars

Gore:  1.5 out of 10 skulls

Zombie Mayhem:  1 out of 5 brains

Reviewed by Scott Shoyer